King of the Mountain

I was going to say that the only thing that doesn't hurt are my fingers, but that's not true - I have a pretty gnarly looking blister, from swinging a machete. Juan promised us a trip to his largest and most mature cacao farm. Originally we were hoping to harvest cacao pods but due to the late heavy rains this past month they aren't quite ready yet. I wasn't sure what Juan had in store for us and in retrospect I'm glad I didn't know.
It had rained pretty heavily all last night and was still drizzling a bit when we headed out this morning in Juan's van towards Indian Creek, Juan and Abelina's largest farm. It's about 60 acres and has been in Abelina's family for many generations. Abelina had packed us a lunch, we had water bottles, insect repellant and I thought we were in pretty good shape. After about a thirty minute drive we reached the farm which is tucked at the bottom of a mountain. This is the place where Abelina was raised and her parents still live. It's a very modest home with very few amenities but situated on a gorgeous piece of property. Juan began the tour by handing both of us a machete and then taking us on a hike to show us his mature cacao trees. Wowza, the mother lode. I have to admit I got a bit choked up and teary eyed. All of a sudden it really hit me, I'm on ancient Mayan land amongst all these gorgeous cacao trees that have been lovingly revered and respected. Every time Ned and I make chocolate we are always amazed that from these hardshell beans comes this glorious elixir. We had always vowed we would one day travel to the source. And now, here we are, not just standing next to these beautiful cacao trees, but standing next to the source with a Mayan family that have welcomed us into their home.
At that moment I really felt that if we had turned around and gone home right then and there our trip would have been complete. Juan very patiently took us through the farm and pointed out which pods were the criollo, forestero and trinitario varieties. His farm is predominantly of the criollo type, the original bean cultivated by the Mayans. It was just magical to finally see the tiny orchids that turn into pods and the brightly colored pods hanging from the trunks of trees. It was still a bit drizzly and the pods looked glorious with droplets of rain on them.
After walking a bit we eventually ran into a darling, wrinkled old man who was of small stature but very strong and fit. It was Mr. Marcos, Abelina's father. He had been doing some machete work (knocking down the rapidly growing flora surrounding the younger cacao trees), not an easy task. Mr. Marcos doesn't speak English or Spanish just Kek'chi. Juan acted as our translator and introduced us to him. He was sharpening his machete with a file and handmade corn cob handle. We spent a few minutes getting acquainted. You'll see his picture with us below.
Juan very nonchalantly said let's walk this way up the mountain, you can get a great view from up there and we can get a couple of things done. Do not be fooled by these sweet Mayans. After going back to the van for provisions, Juan, Ned and I started up the hill. The guys were carrying quite a few things, weedeater, machetes, a knapsack with a bunch of stuff in it and I offered to carry the lunch. Yeah, big of me I know, but I had a secret strategy. I figured they wouldn't leave me in the jungle or get too far ahead if I had the lunch. (My mama didn't raise no fool). The farther and higher we went in the jungle the wetter and slicker it got. Juan took pity on me and made me a walking stick. Ned was just scared I was going to kill myself so he offered to carry my machete. I've been working out for about 6 months and I thought I was in pretty good shape, but dang this hike in the heat and humidity was pretty strenuous. My jeans were completely stuck to me. I thought about stopping to pee, but I was so drenched from sweat top to bottom I didn't actually think I'd ever be able to get my jeans back on! About half way up we stopped at a coconut grove - thank God! Juan wanted to take some coconuts back home. Yippee a breather. Juan showed us how to take the husks off the coconut. Trust me, it's a lot harder than it looks. We decided to leave our coconut collection for the trip back home and we ventured on. Next stop was a sugar cane field. I was really dying about now and Juan gave us a little pick me up. He cut down a stalk, whacked away the outer skin and had us suck on it. OMG - delicious! Because of the heavy rains it had quite a lot of water in it so it was extra juicy. I swear to God I sucked that thing dry. We finally made it to the top and wouldn't you know it, there was a sugar cane press built in 1916. Of course, I made the mistake of asking the guys where the horse was and they just looked at me and laughed. Juan showed us how it worked and it was pretty fun to make our own sugar cane juice.
Being on the top of the mountain, above the rainforest just takes your breath away. Straight ahead of us looking toward Guatemala was a mountain range and to the left you could just get a glimpse of the Caribbean Sea. The sun had begun to peak out, brightly colored butterflies were flittering around and the sounds of the rainforest below us were coming alive. Really spectacular. Juan eventually walked us down a path and started pointing out baby cacao trees and young plantain tress that were being swallowed up by the rainforest growth. He showed us how to swing the machete, cut the growth close to the ground, then pile up all the cuttings around the base of the young cacao trees. He said, "See ya at lunch time" and went off to weedwhack the really tall grasses higher up. Well Ned just got to it. He was whacking away making great progress. Me, not so much. I was whacking like crazy and nothing was really happening. I could actually make better progress pulling the stuff with my bare heads. I decided that I was going to figure out this machete thing and was finally making a little progress holding the handle with both hands. Let's be honest here, for every foot of growth I was cutting Ned was whacking away at ten feet. Pathetic really. After awhile (I'm not going to give anyone the satisfaction of knowing how long, I'm on Mayan time) my arms were aching, I was completely drenched and I had developed the biggest blister that had popped and was stinging like hell. Ned took one look at me, gave me a big sweaty kiss, and told me to just take it easy. I so didn't want to give up, but I must admit I was a complete weeny. I made a couple more feeble attempts at machete whacking, but the only thing I was cutting was the thick humid air. Finally, in the distance Juan called out "Lunch time." Were there ever any sweeter words in the English language?
By this time Juan had cleared out quite a nice section and we were able to sit on this enormous sandstone rock overlooking the valley and eat Abelina's lunch. Dang it was good! She made Fry Jack and stuffed it with spicy chicken and vegetables. We had a great lunch break and Juan shared with us his future dream of one day building a house for Abelina and he up here. His dream is for it to be solar powered and completely self sustaining. It's a beautiful piece of paradise for sure!
After lunch Juan and some of Abelina's family (brother and nephew) continued to do some weedwhacking. I looked up and wouldn't you know it, Mr. Marcos is up here with his machete whacking away at stuff. The man is 83 years old and putting me to complete shame. What a dude! Juan asked Ned and I to make our way back down to the coconut grove and pick up some germinating coconuts. These are coconuts that have started to sprout and can be planted. Ned and I worked our way down, stopping by the sugar cane field once again, then hanging out at the coconut grove looking for the sprouted coconuts. We were complete novice idiots I might add. We were picking up one rotten coconut after another, trudging through stuff and coming up empty handed over and over. Suddenly it occurred to me. Ned, let's just look UP not down and we should see the 1 or 2 ft. high mini coconut leaves. Duh!!! Well once these novices figured that out we were able to collect 10 or so in no time at all. We put them in a sack and Ned carried them up the hill back to Juan. Ned was Mr. Gung-ho on this machete stuff and went back to the area we were working on earlier. Juan had showed me how to plant the coconuts in a clearing on the mountain. I wanted to do it, I really did. But my hands were hurting from blisters, my legs were screaming from walking up the hill, my arms tired from wheeling a machete and I was hotter than hell. I got only about half of them planted when Ned came back up and gave me a hand. Yep, I was done, finis, kaput. I swear if there was a creek or stream close by I would have stripped down and gone for a swim I don't care who was around. Juan told us he would finish up and Ned and I could head down the hill. Ned carried TWO sacks of provisions, the coconuts we had left from earlier, and even my machete. My contribution was a water bottle filled with okra that I had picked.
The only other time I can think of that I was this happy to see our vehicle was when I had finished climbing half dome and that took me 15 hours! There was fresh water in the car and Ned and I drank gallons. By this time the sun was blazing and we decided to take another stroll through the cacoa trees.
On the way home we stopped at a thatched roof hut bar alongside the road with a flat screen TV showing Law & Order. This is so Belize, the juxtaposition of primitive and modern. Best damn beer of my life.
After taking a cold shower, and loving it, I crashed and burned. Laid down and couldn't move. Ned was still tootling along and hung out with Abelina as she made the most amazing meal yet. Hard to say what's been my favorite dish so far, but this one was truly spectacular. It was a machac fish, prepared in traditional lancha style with lots of spices and cooked with cowfoot (a licorice tasting leaf) and wrapped in banana leaves. She placed it in the middle of the table and we all shared it with freshly made hot tortillas. After the kids went to bed, Juan, Abelina, Ned and I sat around for a long, long time telling stories. Juan was cracking up when we told him about our coconut experience. Hearing some of their stories made me laugh so hard my sides ache. I know that I will be remembering some of their stories for a long, long time and can't wait to share them with my friends back home. Ixcacao, means Chocolate Queen in Mayan. Abelina is certainly the chocolate queen, but today I climbed a Mayan mountain, wielded a machete and so today I'm King of the Mountain.